Why we broke up | Let's Talk

The video I publish today is about my most recent relationship and our breakup. This relationship was the best and worst experience for me of all I can remember. There may be some triggers here … abuse, trauma, insults. I know that many people have wanted to know what happened since my depression practically spilled and I reached the bottom for the first time in my life. It has been a difficult road, but I am much better. I'm still not 100% but I'll get it.

If you want to see more videos like this or if you have any questions or video suggestions, let me know below.

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Everyone @EncinaSevera

Video credits to Encina Severa YouTube channel

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Why we broke up | Let's Talk

Comments 40

  1. When he first told you he was a sex addict you should have RUN…stay away from anyone with addiction or history of addiction….once an addict ALWAYS an addict.

  2. Hey I saw you on Medcircle and ended up watching some of your vids here. Really broke my heart to know you're going through all of this…endometriosis (my ex gf had this and I have an idea of how painful it is), things about your ex, kicked out from home. Hope u feeling better and being able to overcome all this situation, step by step.
    I trully wish you the best! Stay awesome, Encina.

  3. It’s been 2 years for me after narc abuse and I still don’t think the old me will ever return. The thing that I have to remind myself daily is that the person they pretended to be was an act. They act like your everything. They act like they are madly in love with you. It’s the acting that they get off on.

  4. No one deserves to go through that, I’m so happy that you’re coming to a better place now! I support you all the way Encina! You’re extremely brave for coming forward about this and I’m with your channel going forward ❤️

    On a less light note, your experience with that hospital sounds SO much like my first mental hospital experience. I understand the feelings of being there completely, and they really do treat the inmates like prisoners. Big virtual hug your way!!

  5. I'm so sorry you had to experienced this. He literally tried to mind fuck you to keep you around to have his cake and eat it too. Thank you so much for sharing your story. 💕💋

  6. My very good friend is going through the exact same relationship but hers lasted 18 years, they have 3 kids and are devout Christians. He was loving, kind, thoughtful and always praising her. He was a porn addict that she chose to accept. In the end he turned evil which is a complete shock because I have watched their perfect and respectful relationship since the beginning. Only one week before he walked out they were at a church function with about 30 people and he made a toast saying how fortunate he was to have such a remarkable wife.

    He did and said things after he walked out that shocked her. He spit in her face, headbutted her, stole her laptop and other electronics, told her that her hair is a piss yellow, called her saggy hole, etc. He began dating someone upon walking out and they were together for a month before moving in together. His parents support him mentally and financially, telling him he's not doing anything wrong but have written declarations for her to present in court stating he has had mental illness for as long as they can remember but they chose not to get him help thinking it would heal itself.
    My dear is handling the divorce well because of the disrespect he has shown and her valuing herself. I have watched the relationship blossom to unfolding and the ugliness it is now There are days I cannot believe. I'm sorry you're experiencing this too. It's truly terrible. .Stay strong, walk with your head up and value who you are because you are pretty amazing!

  7. Encina! Thank you so much for posting this video and sharing your story. I am truly so so sorry that you have been through this awful experience. It resonated so much with me being as I was in a toxic relationship which ultimately ended up with me being sexually assaulted. Thank you so much for making me feel not along. I know you will get through this and you’ll definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. Sending lots of love your way 🖤🖤

  8. So Sorry this happened to you. No one should be treated like this. I saw two of your interviews on MedCircle. You are so brave. I have other comments but don't feel they're appropriate response for this video nothing bad , just off topic.

  9. I just want to give you a big hug 💜. Sorry you had to go through all of that BS. Screw him, you deserve better and one day you'll have it. I'm glad you're talking about this and focusing on healing and moving on.

  10. Wow I am so sorry you had that experience. But truthfully (don’t take this the wrong way) I’m glad he showed you that side of him and that he broke up with you. You need to be faaarrrr away from him! Sure you already know that. Let’s celebrate this ending!! This is a happy time!! And I’m so glad you’ve been feeling better

  11. Glad you are feeling better now, and that you left that guy. He was soooo not good for you just listening about the first 10 mins.

  12. Oh poor you… I feel you!!!
    I was dealing with a guy like this last year… Something seriously wrong with him but he accused me of Beeing mentally ill after I stopped agreeing to his crazy ideas about relationships…

    But it was an amazing learning opportunity for me.
    I hope you can learn from it, especially more selflove!!!

    I respect you sharing your story.
    Feel huged, a lot of love!!!

  13. You are one of the strongest people I have had the opportunity to be aware of, and if anything I want to drive home that as small as he made you feel, it is nothing compared to how small and weak of a person he truly is. He saw something in you that he is incapable of providing for himself. Sociopaths are not capable of loving someone the way people that experience deep empathy can. It feels like true love because they study and mirror their partners, that is how they gain their supply. Realizing that a friend or lover has only viewed you as a resource is devastating and taking time to heal from it is so important, but it looks like you are on that path. As much as it stings to understand that those moments/demonstrations of "true love" were an act to gain your trust and complacency for a selfish agenda can be shattering, but not as damaging as what you already endured by being in the relationship. You are stronger than him.
    Thank you for pulling through. Better things are in store for you.

  14. I'm sorry if this comes off weird or whatever but OMG I fucking adore you!!! You're so beautiful and sweet and kind hearted and so different and just seem like a beyond awesome and cool person and whoever gets you is lucky as hell to have you!!! ❤️💙💜💚💞💋👑

  15. Thank you for being so candid. I wish we could hang out!
    I really hope you tap into your strength to get through this. You are so awesome girl. I'm so lucky to have found you on here…….beautiful girl 💙🧚‍♀️😍😘🤸‍♀️❇

  16. Encina, it's therapeutically good to get it out in the open, trust in God that he closes the doors that need to be shut and opens doors to better things to come, trust in God with all your might. ❤❣😘🙏🙌

  17. I just love listening to you, it's like a friend is talking to me and venting. You feel like a friend!

  18. U didn’t shame or put him down for what he was into n that was very nice of u, but u gave up yourself and got lost in order to be with him. I’m glad ur finding urself again. Love n blessings to u.

  19. I noticed a cut on your arm. If it was self-inflicted then I hope that you find coping methods that don't bring you more self-punishment, because you do not deserve it. ♥️

    Encina, I had a strong feeling that this was the kind of experience you had been through based off of your recent posts.

    It's crazy how unoriginal Narcissists/Sex addicts/Sociopaths behave and how commonly and unfortunately we empaths get sucked into their world. 😔 I too was sexually abused as a child and I really wonder about research out there that might connect these predators to adult women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse because I hear of it often. (I'm a Therapist).

    I met my ex at the ripe age of 15 and spent 3 out of the 5 years, trying to leave him. He too was addicted to sex. I am bisexual. He solicited me via craigslist at one point without my consent or knowledge in a constant attempt to have threesomes. Nothing came of it but realizations such as these have continued finally connecting throughout the 15+ years that have passed since I first met him. This is the longterm type of effect that come from narcissistic abuse. He caused me irreparable damage. Towards the end, he forced me to have unprotected sex, impregnated me in an attempt to "keep me" and then just paid for the abortion all while abusing me psychologically during the process. By this point I had severe depression, was suicidal, self harming, engaging in anorexia and bulimia and traumatized by sex entirely.

    No more sex equaled uselessness to him.

    Encina, one word of advice from someone who has been through this type of abuse, has come around on the other side and has been happily, healthily married for 8 years now; DO NOT ATTEMPT TO GET CLOSURE FROM YOUR EX.

    The longterm, agonizing realization that all of the behaviors and feelings this person showed or perhaps acted out, might have been in genuine, is excruciatingly painful but not as much as attempting to get closure throughout the years and instead him inflicting more trauma to your story with this empty shell of a person that you cannot fix or change.
    They cannot truly feel love or empathy, or remorse and cannot take accountability for pain they have caused.

  20. This sounds almost exactly what I went through. sociopath/narc/addict. Of course he managed to hide all that for a full year even living together. The thing you understand in time as painful as it is…is that the love was never real. They can’t love. They only love how you make them feel and the second you don’t feed their agenda they click it off like a light switch. Go from sweet and loving to a psychopath who would step over you in a gutter. They hold the mask up for sometimes an alarming amount of time in the beginning as the suck you in. Then they isolate you and slowly break you down. You don’t even know it’s happening. You start compromising things you never thought you would because you think they are your person. They start using their love like bait dangling it and then taking it back trying to get you to earn their affections. The twin flame isn’t what people think it is and it actually turns out to be a very toxic codependent karmic relationship. The soul pull is so intense and couple that with a socio/narc and previous trauma and it’s just next level pain. I know it probably doesn’t seem like it now but the smoke will clear. It took me years. It still hurts but I’m not in love anymore and I don’t even love him. In the end nothing could excuse the things he did. And the person I thought I would love forever eventually I didn’t. Because once he lost his grip fully I saw the truth and that person I loved so much never existed at all. If he was the perfect person for you then you wouldn’t be forced to make those sort of compromises. There is compromising and compromising oneself. And where there is one lie there is many. They usually reveal things to make it look like they are honest so you don’t dig deeper. It also gives them an excuse to act however they want because it shows how much shit you’ll take. An empath which you are will think they are being vulnerable and honest sweet and sensitive. It’s all an act. This is a sick person and I’m sorry you went through this.

  21. Sounds like you were super supportive of him and tried to compromise as much as you could. Also sounds like you were an amazing partner. Some people have this evil streak after a break up, its very strange. Your strength will continue to return each day and you will wonder why you put up with that shit, you're worth so much more. Sometimes its hard to see the beauty in life but remember its still there waiting for you.x

  22. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. You deserve so much better. You are so Brave and honest. I am proud of you for being able to talk about it and let everybody know when it is non of our business!!! Stay Magical HONEY!!!!

  23. You go eat that whole watermelon, you deserve that and so much more! Sending you a big big hug, stay strong! <3

  24. Sweatheart you deserve the best! This guy is really sick…. its good that you let him go.
    Love from holland😘😘😘

  25. sex addiction or a predator? I think he's bit on the dodgy side. And I don't even know who he is but sounds like that.

  26. I first saw you in a Medcircle DID video. I instantly clicked with your persona. I'm an INFJ too and aquarius dom(pisces sun) with depression and bpd symptoms. I guess we attract such people because of our good will and wanting to help scarred people but we become getting hurt in the end. I learned my lesson other way, everything comes for a reason and as bad as it is it teaches us something. Best of luck for you. You're one of a kind.

  27. I am so glad that you are healing. You will grow from the experience and become stronger from it and for that reason you can be thankful for the experience. I hope and pray that you can learn and find a healthy relationship. Don’t want to offend you but I don’t think you can find a healthy relationship in what you described as poly but wish you happiness none the less.

  28. I discovered you at a very dark point in my life and I am so glad that I did. I am vaguely going through a similar thing and hearing you speak about this just put me in such a better headspace about the situation. I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I hope you feel better soon, love. You deserve so much better. ❤

  29. You are an amazing individual who came out of an abusive relationship. Keep moving forward. Look for the positive.

  30. I’m so sorry!! I hate this so bad for you 😢😢😢 breaks my heart!! Good vibes for you to continue healing !

  31. I’m sorry encina, you’re such an amazing person. I love how brave you are, thank you for sharing. I know it’s definitely hard, but with time and support, you will feel better💛

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