The #1 Cause of Depression

In this video, author and depression counselor Douglas Bloch shares his experience about what he sees as the # 1 cause of depression. To put it succinctly, people fall into depression when they experience a "broken heart" caused by the loss of love. The loss can occur with a spouse, partner, child, parent or pet. However, there is a cure for this, through the search for new sources of connection and community.

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Music: Somatou, by Kakurenbo, courtesy of a Creative Commons license.
YouTube standard license

Video credits to Douglas Bloch YouTube channel

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    The #1 Cause of Depression

    Comments 50

    1. Thanks Doug. Yet another outstanding and very helpful, insightful video. I completely agree about the LOW SEROTONIN theory but am also aware of the "perfect storm" aspect (where you have back to back death of loved ones and there is no let up on top of the fact that UR already prone to depressive episodes caused by childhood abuse). Nothing knocks the wind out of me like the death of a close friend or family member, though. Great video. Thanks for helping:-)

    2. Any loss creates trauma. My mum killed herself when I was 14. I had a stroke at age 28. My dad died 3 years ago. Even my lovely neighbour died in April and a cousin suffered a brain aneurysm last November. Would that be enough to cause the distress and anxiety i am suffering now?

    3. Why did I not see this before!!! This video and the answers as to what is causing so much depression! Yes! I have had a recent breakup with a guy who was a bandaid after a divorce, I have lost my grandmother just days after the breakup, I have lost a home my dad gave me after he passed away. I was already depressed and these events led me deeper into my depression. This has been the darkest 4 years of my life and having no family or friends to support makes it seem hopeless. SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE COME ACROSS YOUR STATION!!!

    4. so true……….. now that you said it – each and every moment of my life i have felt depressed, which hasn't been all that much, it was because a significant relationship was ended on me. funny thing is that it didn't have to be a long one, but it mattered so much to me, that i slipped into depression and couldn't see the bright end of the tunnel anywhere and with anything.

    5. Doug, you're like a Godfather for mental health. You need to do broad marketing of yourself, anywhere you can. People needs to hear about you!

    6. I can’t relate. I have had depression since elementary school and I am middle aged now. I can’t blame my situation on a relationship.

    7. Wife divorced me shortly after my dad died ,seperated from my kids now that I stayed home n raised from birth , miserable job all while away from my hometown ,n friends /family 3thousand miles away. Put in an absolute grinder!

    8. This video touched me so much. 8 yrs my beloved father was killed in an auto accident. I plummeted into dispair. My mom survived but was severely injured. At this time i had a boyfriend living with me. I am recovered alcololic and drifted ino using opiates both of and speed. 2 wks my boyfriend almost died of an overdose. Because his son thinks we are bad for each codependent he was his father to go to assisted living. It has happened and we tog. For 10 yrs. I have lost evry significant male in my life. Through suicide;death and divorce. My son is sevrrely autistic and he is in a residental facility. I have totally isolated myself. I feel lost and hurt by life.

    9. Here again,, listening to every word you say,, (non robotic). All of which again, makes so much sense. I just will keep listening, and waiting for the opinion on what I am dealing with. I am sure I will find why I am in the situation I am in. Thank you

    10. I think those things, a separation, a death of a loved one, any loss can be traumatic and very painful. It may trigger a depression, but really the cause is an incapability to COPE with the loss. Depression is a natural reaction within the grief process of separation or loss. But, if one knew what to do when the feelings of despair appear because we don't know how to deal with the pain in a healthy way, of course you're going to stay depressed and stuck.

      If we were more in tune and knew how to handle our emotions better, we wouldn't get SO depressed by losing a relationship. In those cases he describes, it's just a symptom of not knowing how to live or get on without that one person. It's called emotional dependency. I agree that reaching out and finding other sources of connection and love, is one of the keys to get over the depression, but I don't think a loss is in itself the cause of a depression. Why don't some people fall into major depressed after breaking up with someone or losing a very dear family member? The loss in itself is not the cause of depression, it's how you deal with it.

    11. I think the perfect storm is child hood trauma and a biophysical predisposition to anxiety and depression by nutritional deficiencies.

    12. For me, the great cause of depression has nothing to do with separation. I´m not alone, I am well loved person, everything goes right for me, but suddenly, I began to think about the future, that life will end, and I would eventually become sick, old, all this world is a deception, we are too fragile as human beings, and this leads me to sadness, thinking that soon I may die without achieving my great goals in life. I wish I was 20 years old by now. Give me my 20 years back. I can´t die !

    13. I have seasonal affective disorder as well as bipolar disorder. My bipolar side is often affected by love, this is sooo true. And when this occurs during winter or a cloudy season, I get really really bad. That's when I'm my worst, suicidal thoughts and all. The whole package. Oof.

    14. I thought being paralyzed for a day was bad, 3 months deserves a standing ovation. Glad he stuck it out

    15. The Best Tool to offset depression is regular exercise, being around positive people, staying busy with things you enjoy doing……offsetting it naturally without medication..

    16. Lack of " intimacy " is itself a cause of depression. With some people, myself included, that is exceedingly difficult to attain. The cycle of depression continues. There is no cure or hope for many many people.

    17. Thank you, but this makes me even more depressed, knowing I will never have a girlfriend throughout the rest of my life. And I´m only 26. It´s virtually out of the question that I´ll ever get anywhere close to a girl or a woman. And then, I have to see and hear about all the intimate experiences of other people. Many of them are even much younger than me. I don´t even have friends or note-worthy acquaintances. I am absolutely doomed.

    18. #1 cause is being smart enough to realize how evil and screwed up America is. The happy people are the not too bright ones who are satisfied with life if their local baseball team is winning.

    19. Good video. But my own depression is not caused by external events so it was difficult to relate. But still very useful

    20. Yeah but u. Can be miserable with a mate also.I would say get a pet and hang out with family.

    21. I'm sure that breaking up is a cause of depression. I'm bipolar for 45 plus year's. I have everything and anything I want but that doesn't stop the dark clouds that turn into a black hole. For us that suffer and battle this type of debilitating depression is something that had no reason.

    22. joke part 2 … the seeker/sage pays for the burrito and waits for the change , the burrito man replyes you should know sir 'change comes from within'

    23. The biggest cause of my depression is the severe, relentless torment of OCD. Not relationship break up.

    24. But what if the separation is initiated by the depressed? I can’t stop my husband from leaving… suggesting to him to seek better treatments or go for more therapy will be deemed to him as an attempt to hold him in the relationship.

      And even more disappointingly, he told others that he was the one who is the abandoned.

      I just feel helpless… that whatever I do with the depressed especially during his major depressive episode is most likely misconstrued.

      If the relationship survives the major depressive episode, stay strong and loving 😘😘 if someone can walk away from you, i can only learn to let go.

    25. What about single people who are depressed? You don't have to be in a relationship to be depressed.

    26. Hi Douglas, I don't know if you are going to see this…but at 5:00 you talk about doing the grieving work for loss/abandonment traumas. I realize now my life has started going downhill ever since my parent's divorce, but I've always blocked everything until now. What type of therapy do you mean? Psychotherapy? Or seein a psychologist? I can't really tell the difference between the two. thanks!

    27. someone made a comment about birth control pills and depression. The answer is stay away from birth control pill is you have depression. They can make things very bleak. I have had terrible problems with all manner of hormonal contraceptives. A lot of women are sensitive to progesterone which can cause mood problems.

    28. I remember reading somewhere that long stretched out break ups are often a cause of DP/DR too

    29. Yes I lost my father at 9 years old , I waved goodbye and never saw him again because he was killed that night .
      Depression has consumed my life but I'm stronger than I realize because I'm still here .
      Yes Divorce is a huge loss also , and being an empath exasterbates it all 👍🏼
      Great vid as usual 🙏🏼

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