SURVIVING MORNINGS When Depressed (Major Depression)

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My story

My name is Noah and, on May 18, 2011, I had a rare reaction to a vaccine called VIVITROL and, as a result, I formed a larger, agitated and depressive spiral with depersonalization. I lost 25 pounds in 4 weeks and was in panic or almost panic for 8 weeks in a row, mixed with the most painful and dark depression I have ever imagined. Immediately I could not work and I had to move with my parents, who along with many brothers and friends had to see me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, because it was so suicidal. I was finally hospitalized. Overcoming each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been given many tricyclics, ISRIs, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, holistic medicines, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I just saw no improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided that I had treatment-resistant depression and I spent almost every moment crying. Weeks after starting my last round of medications (Seroquel and Nortryptaline) as the last effort in the trench, I drew blood to detect possible hormonal imbalances and my testosterone levels returned to 200 ng / Dl and 150 ng / Dl. The average man of 25 years has 750 ng / Dl. With this discovery, for the first time I had some sort of possible explanation of why I was not improving and why I could be so sick. The symptoms of this low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started with testosterone replacement therapy soon after and I have been communicating with the world and documenting my experience with the treatment, as well as offering my vision and perspective on various mental health issues. I am lucky to say that little by little, in the last 4 years, I have been improving and becoming more stable, which I never thought possible. My low T manifested in the form of major depression, anxiety and depersonalization / derealization for more than a year. Recovering some mental stability is nothing more than a miracle, since I was close to death for what I felt forever. I still do not consider myself totally healed, but now I am closer than ever and I intend to use what I have gone through to help or at least offer support to others in need. I was able to successfully leave my Seroquel and Pamelor.

I work all the time as part of my mental health recovery! Weight training and all types of cardio govern much of my free time!

Video credits to bignoknow YouTube channel

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SURVIVING MORNINGS When Depressed (Major Depression)

Comments 28

  1. Yup! I HATE mornings!!! It’s still
    Morning for me & I have a husband, 2 kids, currently at a part time job & just want to go back to bed πŸ›Œ

  2. I always pray to die when i go to sleep.. then i wake up like β€œAH FUCK. Why the hell does he not answer my prayers??” I wish i could never wake up and could always be alone and invisible. I havent cried in 4 years (im 13 btw and i started it at 8) my self esteem is bad when people say im pretty i cringe so hard.

  3. Thank you for posting. your videos really are helpful. its hard… the days feel so long,, and you are right the morning is very scary and i feel nervous,, I do need to be busier and have more structure to get my mind off of things.

  4. My Beautiful furbabies wake me up most mornings. I can get up for them so they are happy. They need to eat. They want to cuddle. They're worth it and distract me even if I cry for 30 min while getting their breakfast ready.

  5. dude it takes 5 days without booze to stop…its all in support
    and good people,this cant be done alone

  6. I suffer with this only SLIGHTLY (probably just seasonal b.s.) but I can only imagine what y'all go thru. Youre doing a good thing with this channel man. Youve made a career on helping people. Thats so badass! You're turning your sickness into your fuckin BITCH. how badass.

  7. What if you don't have anyone that cares about u to spend time with? I do the same thing I just keep gping

  8. it is 3:51am in victoria australia and l am awake l drink tooo much and am going down hill fast but knowing me l will get up again and what has helped and they have. they have no idea they have. l was on facebook connecting with my old friends from primary school. we had a whole lot of fun and l consider them my family. l miss being with them as they l trust completely.

  9. I am so glad I found your video!!! your are the first and only person (I know of) that addresses this morning horror. I struggle so horribly from this. You have very practical advice.

  10. Thank you for keeping it real and being straightforward. Very helpful… I developed a structured plan that works for me and now, for the first time in a while, I can say I’m actually looking forward to waking up tomorrow:). So THANK YOU!!! God blessπŸ™

  11. That sounds like me man. I get up on the morning and its such a struggle. Then evening slight break but then it's bed and morning all over again.. thanks for the vid i can't qait till this lifts dude

  12. Rarely a morning I wake up feeling content. Today I want to check out permanently. 😩

  13. Thanks for the video. Any advice when you're depressed and trouble with keeping house. I'm drained from work and then just lay down because I want to avoid. Then I feel totally guilty. I have the same morning issues. Absolutely dread.

  14. I love you man thank you for your videos! You are such a blessing keep doing Gods work my friend. πŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌ

  15. I literally feel like God sent me to this. It's all stuff I already did know deep down but hadn't formally thought it out like this.

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